Princess' Teeth

So all I've been able to think about this weekend is Princess' teeth.  I am so beyond stressed out about it.  We have a consult with the dentist Monday afternoon, and it can't come soon enough but at the same time, I don't even want to go.

Over the summer, the boyfriend took her to the dentist because she had a couple discolored gray spots on her two front top teeth.  Apparently they were cavities and she had 4 of them and would need 3 root canals and 4 crowns to fix them.  We don't have dental insurance and we didn't have the money to pay for it, so we put it off.

Now her teeth look worse.  I can actually see the cavities on the two front teeth, and the other two teeth have gray spots.  So we have to get it fixed, and I need to borrow money to do it.  I spoke with the dentist's office and they told me she has to go under general anesthesia at the hospital to get it done because she is not a very good patient.  This will cost me $1750 plus whatever my medical insurance doesn't pay for the operating room, anesthesia, etc.

I don't know if I want to do this.  I've read about baby crowns getting screwed up easily and the teeth have to be pulled anyway.  When she's mad, Princess bangs her head on the floor.  I have a feeling she may knock the crowns off if she gets them.

Also, I'm terrified of her going under general anesthesia.  She's only 2 1/2.  Anesthesia can be dangerous.  And it's just her teeth, it's not some lifesaving surgery or something really medically necessary.  I just don't know if I can agree to this.

T already had his top 4 teeth pulled due to an accident this spring.  I think this is what I would prefer to do with Princess.  I already know what it entails.  She will be sedated with some liquid medicine.  When she is sleepy, she will sit on someone's lap and get nitrous and a shot of Novocaine, and they will pull the teeth.  It will all take less than an hour (30-40 minutes for the sedative to kick in, 10 minutes to pull the teeth, 5-10 minutes to recover).  And it will cost me $1650.  Then I can get her a flipper if need be so it looks like she has the teeth there.

The boyfriend totally disagrees with me on this.  He wants to get the teeth fixed.  It has been really tense all weekend.  I just don't know what the best thing to do for her will be.  I don't want to make the wrong decision but my gut is telling me to just get the teeth pulled.  I don't want to start a fight with her dad or the dentist, but I think they're wrong.  And I'm the one who is going to borrow the money, so I'd like to think that if we can't agree, I should get to choose in the end.  But I also feel like thinking that way is messed up.

I really just don't know what to do.  I wish the boyfriend would come around to thinking my way.  It's going to be weird at the consultation when we don't agree on what to do.  I wish it could just be over and done with already.  And I wish someone had told me sooner that cavities were contagious.  I really feel like I failed because both T and Princess have messed up front teeth.  Even though we make sure they brush every day.  I'm praying something doesn't happen to Goober now.  I want tomorrow to be over.

NOTE: We went to the appointment and the dentist agreed with me that she should have 3 teeth removed because her roots are resorping.  Tomorrow we have consult with the oral surgeon who pulled T's teeth.  A month after the teeth are removed, she will get fitted for fake baby teeth.  I am happy.  And T now has a gigantic hole in his tooth-he had no cavities a month ago, so he must have smashed it on something and broken it.  I hope it is fill-able.  Also, any parents with kids over 1 who still use a bottle-stop before it's too late.  The dentist told me that is why both my kids have bad front top teeth-the bottle.  Look up baby bottle mouth to see some awful pictures of what it does to teeth.

I hate teeth...

Yeah, I really do.  Teeth in general are becoming the bane of my existence.  I have awful teeth and always have.  After neglecting the dentist for over 5 years, I finally went in February.  The insurance dentist was a mean Russian lady who barely spoke English.  She yelled at me, was incredibly condescending,  and I left in tears.  My other insurance choice was a dentist in Brooklyn.  Um, I live a good hour and a half away from Brooklyn.  It just doesn't work for me.

So I found a wonderful dentist nearby.  But I have to pay out of pocket.  And it has become extremely expensive.  I'll spare you the gory details, but I have already had $10,000 of dental work done, and need another $2,000-$3,000 before I'm finished.  Ouch.  I had to borrow money from my parents, since, as I've said, I'm poor, and none of my credit cards have limits this high.

My boyfriend has awful teeth also.  He needs to go to a dentist, but keeps putting it off.  That brings me to my children.  Unfortunately, they seem to have inherited bad teeth also.  My oldest, T, still uses a binky even though he will be 4 soon.  If I refuse to give him one when he really wants it, he will not hesitate to rip a binky out of poor Goober's mouth.  This is not good for anyone, so I let him have his binky when he sleeps or throws a tantrum.  This spring, I noticed his teeth were gray near the gum line.  He had binky mouth (aka bottle mouth, but he stopped using a bottle long ago).  The first visit to the dentist was a bust-he wouldn't open his mouth at all.  Then he had an accident that involved him being kicked in the face.  One tooth broke off.  We went to another dentist, who said they would give him caps or pull his teeth.  This would be accomplished by putting him in restraints (that they call a papoose).  Over my dead body.  No one is going to restrain my baby like that!  So off we went to a 3rd dentist, who came in on a Sunday to see T.  His 4 top teeth were not salvageable.  The x-ray was completely black where the teeth were.  T needed an oral surgeon and a lot of sedation, but I think it was more painful for me than for him.  He took it like a champ.

T with no teeth

All was good until T started complaining of pain in his mouth a month ago.  I quickly called my wonderful dentist to switch my appointment with one for T.  He had 2 cavities, one on each canine, that were filled that day.  He sat still and was awesome about it, a huge change from his first visit there.

Last week, my boyfriend told me Princess was getting spots on her teeth. I was kind of shocked, since my children do brush their teeth every day, with help from Daddy.  And Princess has never touched a binky in her life; she prefers to suck on a fleece blankie.  Princess has white coat syndrome, so I made the boyfriend take her to the dentist.  He didn't listen and brought her to the family dentist, where they couldn't even get an x-ray.  Off to the pediatric dentist she went. (And by the way, if any of you live in Rockland County NY or Bergen County NJ and need a pediatric dentist, Dr. Fisher is awesome).  It turns out she needs 3 caps or the teeth pulled.  I guess we will find a way to get the caps, since the teeth can be saved. 

I want an explanation for all this.  Why did my kids end up inheriting our bad teeth genes?  Shouldn't brushing their teeth have been enough to prevent this?  How come no one ever told me before that baby teeth get destroyed so fast by processed sugar (if anyone had cared to tell me this, I would have stopped using Double Stuff Oreos as bribes a long time ago)?  Will Goober have problems with his teeth too?

That is why I hate teeth.  I don't want my kids to end up with the oral issues I have.  I don't want them to be afraid to go to the dentist in case they need a filling.  I don't want them to get made fun of for having weird teeth (or no teeth, in T's case).  I want them to be happy, well-adjusted kids who everyone likes.  And I don't want any tooth issues to interfere with their well being.