Friday, October 21, 2011

Fear

You need to come get me now. This was a mistake. I don't know how long until he finds me. Please hurry.


This post was written in response to this week's Red Writing Hood prompt from Write on Edge. This week, we invited you to compose a text–160 characters–that would either elicit or express fear.
Write On Edge: Red-Writing-Hood
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15 comments:

  1. AnonymousOctober 21, 2011 at 11:03 AM

    This is really good. I can sense the desperation and urgency.

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  2. BarbaraOctober 21, 2011 at 11:45 AM

    Ooo! "This is a mistake" - HEART. So much plot and intrigue with so little words!

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  3. KirOctober 21, 2011 at 12:52 PM

    yes, yes....very scary and heartpounding. *eek*

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  4. CarrieOctober 21, 2011 at 1:05 PM

    I'm watching over MY shoulder now!!

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  5. Pamela GoldOctober 21, 2011 at 1:10 PM

    There's a mixture of emotions here. She's nervous that he will find her and yet, where is she that she needs to be rescued if not from him?

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  6. Karen M. PetersonOctober 21, 2011 at 1:14 PM

    Ooh. Is it a bad guy? A police officer? Dad? So many possibilities!

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  7. AnonymousOctober 21, 2011 at 2:41 PM

    Oooh. I like the "This was a mistake." That adds so much more to the story! Good stuff!

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  8. NVOctober 21, 2011 at 2:49 PM

    "You need to come get me now." first line you hooked me! Fantastic job with such a small amount of characters. This is a great and scary text, indeed.

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  9. JackieOctober 21, 2011 at 3:03 PM

    Perfect! And it fits so many scenarios too!

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  10. Kris MulkeyOctober 21, 2011 at 3:51 PM

    You definitely feel her fear and desperation. I think the line "I don't know how long until he finds me." is a little awkward. I think you could have left it out. Or shortened it to "He's coming." or "He's going to find me."

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  11. UnknownOctober 21, 2011 at 5:19 PM

    Ugh. This one leaves a pit in my stomach.

    Poor girl!

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  12. ReneeOctober 21, 2011 at 5:39 PM

    "I don't know how long..." anxiety and tension there. And fear. Well done.

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  13. angelaOctober 21, 2011 at 8:55 PM

    There's a calm sense of desperation here (like the inclusion of the "please",) which is almost scarier than someone freaking out!

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  14. AlisonOctober 21, 2011 at 10:04 PM

    Thank you all for the comments! I really appreciate them. It was so difficult for me to write something this short, and I'm glad I was able to successfully convey fear.

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  15. KCOctober 22, 2011 at 1:02 AM

    Wow that is a bad place to be.

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