Monday, November 7, 2011

So I just read this article about reprimanding other people's kids in public and it got my blood boiling a little bit.  I feel like not only is the author dead wrong, but something is wrong with a lot of the commenters.  They must either be old or never have had children.

As far as I'm concerned, no one but me has the right to reprimand or discipline my child unless I have given you express permission to do so.   I don't want your help or your unsolicited opinions on my ability to parent my kids.

Just because my child has a tantrum/throws sand or toys at another kid/thows stuff on the floor/hits or kicks or punches me or an inanimate object, etc, doesn't give you the right to judge me or him and decide to intervene.  My two younger kids usually behave when we're out, or, worst case scenario, they cry. 

T is a completely different matter.  He regularly has meltdowns and gets very agressive when something sets him off.  In fact, just this weekend, he bit a 9 year old and tried to choke out a 6 year old (but the older boys were messing with him and should have known better-T is not even 4 yet, and for the biting, well, he's missing his 4 top teeth so it's really only 1 tooth that can break skin).

And when we're out and he throws a colossal tantrum?  I hate it more than anything if people try to say something to me or to him.  Seriously, he is only a preschooler, and he has special needs.  You've never seen him before and don't know where the issues are coming from, so keep your mouth shut. 

He's not a spoiled brat, and I do discipline my children when need be.  But your version of discipline is only going to make his tantrum worse.  He's not logical, he's 3! You can't tell him why he's wrong and that he's bother others and needs to behave.  You will never get through to him.  And I'm not going to spank him/pinch him etc, in the store because I learned a long time ago that doesn't work.  I may threaten to leave him in the store and walk around a corner (because he usually comes as soon as he can't see me anymore), but I'm not really leaving him and I keep him in my sights (or sounds, he is screaming at the top of his lungs-I'm not gonna lose him).

I guess what I mean is that you shouldn't assume something about a parent or child if you see a meltdown in public.  You don't know the necessary background information to formulate a educated opinion.  So keep your opinion/parenting tips/dirty looks/discipline to yourself.  Because if I saw another person who I didn't know yelling at my kids, especially T, I might assault your sorry ass.  So keep your mouth shut and just keep on walking.

1 comment:

  1. I could totally relate with how you felt... I'm not going to lie and say that I've never been annoyed or irritated by some other children's behavior in public. However, I do believe that only the parent (or authorized caregiver) has the right to discipline/reprimand a child. If my child is harmed in any way by another child, as upset and protective as I am as her mother, I don't think it's right to then lash out at the child who attacked. What I would do is talk politely to the parent and explain what had happen.

    As you said, sometimes we don't have the complete picture and yet we already judge others whom we perceive as less capable than we are in how they raise their children. What we need is to be more open minded, patient, and considerate towards other parents.