Friday, September 30, 2011

Aurora's Story-Part 1

"Oh please," Aurora snapped her Anne Rice book shut and glared at Isabelle, her best friend.  "What do you think is going to happen?"

"I don't know.  Where did you meet this guy?  My mother always taught me not to trust strangers.  How do you know he's not a serial killer?  Or a rapist?  I'm not going to some random out of the way house to hang out with some guys I've never met.  It all sounds weird."

"Whatever.  You're impossible."  Walking over to mirror, Aurora adjusts her blond curls.  "I am going.  You have fun here.  Alone.  In our tiny apartment.  Doing nothing."  She sits on the plush chair facing the vanity and touches up her makeup.  When she is satisfied, she pulls out a bright red lipstick and precisely applies it, bringing out the fullness of her lips.

"I'll go get that." Isabelle slowly walks towards the door and opens it.  She shudders involuntarily as a chill sweeps through the room.

"I'm Ian.  Enchanted to meet you." The strange young man bows and kisses her hand.

"Um, you're here for Aurora?  She's almost ready.  Hold on." Isabelle rushes back to the bedroom, where Aurora is checking out the fit of her little black dress in the mirror.

"Is he here?" she asks, not even glancing at her friend.

"What are you thinking?  He is weird, Aura.  No normal person acts like that.  He kissed my hand, he has a weird European accent thing going on, he is going to turn out to be some international serial killer guy and you should not go anywhere with him."

Aurora rolls her eyes.  "Seriously, Izzy?  You're being a drama queen.  I said you can come.  He lives with some friend.  And I will not stay home.  He is a hot, polite European who wants me to come to his house.  I wouldn't miss it for the world.  Have fun here, okay? She snaps her fingers, pointing at Isabelle, and leaves the apartment, grin on her face."


"This is where you live?" Awed, Aurora stares at the giant house rising out of the foggy evening.  "It's incredible."

Stepping out of the Saab convertible, Ian opens Aurora's door, takes her hand, and helps her out of the car.  Gesturing towards the house, he shrugs. "It is nice, yes, but nothing special.  Please,  come inside, it's starting to rain."  He leads her over the cobblestones, onto the porch, and into the house.

Aurora is awestruck.  She stops dead in her tracks and gasps, staring wide-eyed at the interior of the house.  She is in a grand foyer, complete with elaborate spiral staircase and paintings, some that look like originals, covering the walls.  "It looks like a museum," she whispers.

"Welcome to my home.  I hope you will be spending a lot of time here with me."

This post was written in response to to this week's Red Writing Hood prompt from Write on Edge.
This week, we want you to be inspired by pictures.  Write a piece – fiction or creative non-fiction – based on your reaction to either of these photos. Or both.
Word limit is…600
This is the photo I chose as inspiration
 This story is one I started writing in high school.  I'm maybe going to try rewriting it on my blog.  However, it was really hard for me to write a piece of creative fiction.  I am more than a little rusty.  I think that because I have done so much with screenwriting, it is difficult to write descriptively and out of screenplay format.  So please, all constructive criticism is welcome.  I swear, I wrote the beginning of this story better when I was 14 years old, and that is sad.


  1. Anne Rice,is he going to be a vampire? Sure sounds like it. I look forward to the rest.

  2. I'm intrigued at this Ian guy... hmmm... is he good or bad? ;))

  3. Yes, but the way you wrote created a visual scene. I liked it!

  4. Ok, I'm totally dying to know. I'm betting bad.

    Great job pulling me in!

  5. Please please please don't let him be a serial killer or a NOLA charlatan or a vampire in disguise. I like Ian of the elaborate staircase and european accent. ;)

  6. I found that last line distinctly sinister... is she even going to be allowed to leave? Just one crit - I think the first para should be in the present tense too.

  7. Thank you all for the comments! They are actually much more positive than I expected. I am definitely going to continue this story on the blog.

  8. invite you to write for our short story slam week 11 today.

    write a story or a poem based on the image you see.

    check us out via pages on top.