Saturday, October 15, 2011

The Old Cabin

I inhale the crisp, clean mountain air.  As I touch the peeling paint on the old porch railing, the rotted wood groans and breaks.

I take a sharp breath as I windmill my arms to regain balance.  Smelling the moist decay, I tenderly test each step until I reach the door.

Pushing it open, stale air whooshes in my face.  Mice skitter across the floor, disturbed by my presence.  Old cheese crackers gray with age are strewn across the kitchen.

The broken army trunk lays on its side next to the crumbling brick fireplace.

I love the possibilities.

This post was written in response to this week's prompt from Jenny Matlock's Saturday Centus.  The literary device to use this week is Sensory Details. Describe the image using five senses: perception, hearing, sight, touch, smell, and taste. WORD COUNT - Not to exceed 100 words. STYLE OF WRITING - Sensory Details Literary Device NO ADDITIONAL PICTURES 

The prompt photo reminded me of an old neglected house upstate that bordered our property.  On further investigation, I discovered it belonged to an old man who was dying of AIDS.  I called him because I loved his house.  We were in negotiations for me to buy it (I was 17 at the time and was going to use my college fund to pay for the property) when he died.  His daughter ended up selling the property to a group of 6 hunters who only come up a couple times a year.  I'm not a fan of hunting, and I still feel, 10 years later, that they stole my property.  I will find some way to own it one day.  That house calls to me.

Jenny Matlock


  1. Alison, I'm glad you were able to save your college fund, so you could get a wonderful education to be able to write like this! Don't give up on that house, however! Those hunterw won't live forever, and they are a lot older than you. Good luck!!

  2. I hope you get it in the end!


  3. PS. Excellent job on the Centus, by the way. I got so wrapped up in your thoughts about the photo that I lost sight of the main event!

  4. I love the descriptive words you used for the house. I love it even more reading about the home you almost bought. Good luck to you in getting it some day.

  5. You really brought us into this house. The details are so sharp and I just love the final line. You WILL get that house (back) some day.

  6. I was as interested in your postscript as your entry...good job and, like Sue, I hope you get it.

  7. Oh, I hope you get the house eventually. I understand that. You must have loved it a lot to spend your savings.

  8. but the mice would have scared me the freak off. I have a crazy fear of them. Very nice job tho.

  9. You writing is always very sensory. I think you capture those things so well. I feel like I am there with you.

  10. "I love the possibilities" - Great Ending.
    I hope you get the cabin someday...

  11. Thank you all for the wonderful comments! Sorry it took me so long to reply-I had to deal with a problem with my cat. I'm glad I can make everyone see what I see and feel what I feel. And I appreciate all the kind words about me getting the house someday-I really hope that it will happen. Thank you!

  12. Oh wow. I loved this story.

    And I really think you'll get your house someday!

    Isn't it amazing how some houses just speak to your soul?

    And isn't it amazing how differently we all approach these prompts each week.

    Your take on it was fabulous!