Thursday, August 25, 2011

Go Go Power Rangers!

My kids love Power Rangers.  I don't get the appeal.  The new Power Rangers (Samurai) is just as cheesy as the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers that was on TV when I was in elementary school.  In fact, I think Megazord may actually be the same.

I know you're all going to think I'm nuts when I tell you that I actually watch all the episodes.  I think they're ridiculous, but I can't look away.  This is the reason I can tell you that Pink Ranger Mia is a bad cook, Green Ranger Mike has some issues with immaturity, and Decker is hot.  Really, really hot.

Decker, played by Rick Medina

 However, the drawback of watching Power Rangers all day, every day, is that T thinks he is one.  He is convinced he is a ninja Power Ranger.  He is the blue one, or as he would say, "Go Go Ah Ah Boo!" (this is how it sounds when he says 'go go power rangers blue!').  And he does this while pumping his fist in the air.  I, of course, am the Pink Ranger.

T has a bad habit of sneaking up and doing ninja moves on everyone, even poor Goober.  I walked into my room the other day after leaving for 30 seconds to feed my dumber-than-a-brick cat Misty.  I saw T on his back with Goober in a headlock on top of him.  The baby's eyes were as big as saucers.  He was terrified.  I saved him from T's grasp.

"Yah!" yelled T, karate chopping me in the neck.  I was still holding Goober, who started to cry.  So I attempted to get T to calm down.  He proceeded to scream and kick me for real.  I had to run away.

This is the Power Ranger fist pump

The other big problem with Power Rangers is the swords.  Apparently, the boyfriend's mom never got the memo that toddlers and swords, even plastic ones, do not go together.  They were an Easter gift, and a big  hit (literally).

The kids, mid-fight

Princess and T play with the swords all the time, making appropriate Power Ranger/ninja/karate noises to go along with it.  They are not gentle either.  One sword is know held together with packing tape, and on more than one occasion, Princess has gotten hurt.

I don't remember if this was a scream of joy or pain.

There have been other casualties too.  Like a full mug of coffee that ended up all over the carpet.  And the broken plate.  And a chink out of the wood dresser (how does a plastic sword even do that?).

The worst was when T decided I was a Nyloc (the bad guys in Power Rangers Samurai) when I was sitting in bed on my laptop one day.  Usually I will play along and pretend to fall over while screaming "noooooooooo" in slow motion.  But he hit me hard in my side.  I screamed for real and doubled over. He kicked me in the back.  I know he was playing, but he kicked me hard.

My lower back is my Achilles heel.  I am thorougly convinced it is from the anesthesiologist messed up my epidural twice when I was in labor with T (which is why I decided to birth Princess and Goober with no drugs).  Now I have chronic pain that nothing can fix.  I've tried physical therapy, trigger point injections, cortisone injections, painkillers, etc.  Over the past 3 1/2 years, unbearable back pain has landed me in the ER over 20 times.

After the kick, I couldn't move.  I felt like I couldn't breathe.  I'm not sure how much time passed before my sobbing woke up the boyfriend in the other room and he came to help me.  I couldn't get myself out of the fetal position without his help.  I spent the next week in bed.  I know he didn't mean to hurt me, but I was pretty annoyed with T for a few days.

So now I'm seriously considering karate lessons for T.  I swear he already knows how to do some actual punches (from what I can remember of my short karate career in college).  He will definitely love it.  And I think it will be good for him.  Then he can be a Power Ranger for real.

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