Friday, October 21, 2011

Fear

You need to come get me now. This was a mistake. I don't know how long until he finds me. Please hurry.


This post was written in response to this week's Red Writing Hood prompt from Write on Edge. This week, we invited you to compose a text–160 characters–that would either elicit or express fear.
Write On Edge: Red-Writing-Hood

15 comments:

  1. This is really good. I can sense the desperation and urgency.

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  2. Ooo! "This is a mistake" - HEART. So much plot and intrigue with so little words!

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  3. yes, yes....very scary and heartpounding. *eek*

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  4. I'm watching over MY shoulder now!!

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  5. There's a mixture of emotions here. She's nervous that he will find her and yet, where is she that she needs to be rescued if not from him?

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  6. Ooh. Is it a bad guy? A police officer? Dad? So many possibilities!

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  7. Oooh. I like the "This was a mistake." That adds so much more to the story! Good stuff!

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  8. "You need to come get me now." first line you hooked me! Fantastic job with such a small amount of characters. This is a great and scary text, indeed.

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  9. Perfect! And it fits so many scenarios too!

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  10. You definitely feel her fear and desperation. I think the line "I don't know how long until he finds me." is a little awkward. I think you could have left it out. Or shortened it to "He's coming." or "He's going to find me."

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  11. Ugh. This one leaves a pit in my stomach.

    Poor girl!

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  12. "I don't know how long..." anxiety and tension there. And fear. Well done.

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  13. There's a calm sense of desperation here (like the inclusion of the "please",) which is almost scarier than someone freaking out!

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  14. Thank you all for the comments! I really appreciate them. It was so difficult for me to write something this short, and I'm glad I was able to successfully convey fear.

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  15. Wow that is a bad place to be.

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